Jason Reviews: Zonad

Zonad is a movie based on logical conclusions.  These logical conclusions are reached from systematically thinking in a logical manor about what logical conclusions are correct.  Here is an example.  Tara likes Chris Hemsworth.  Chris Hemsworth is a male, therefore Tara is a homosexual male because she is attracted to Chris Hemsworth.  See? Completely logical.

Flash Bang

While the Cassidy family was out on a constitutional they saw a flash in the sky and a shooting star.  When they get home they find a man in a red jump suit passed out on their living room floor.  It HAS to be an alien right?

What could it be, no, a man in a costume who escape from a court mandated detox center?  Nahh it has to be an alien.  It is only logical.  Just like Tara being a homosexual male because she is attracted to Chris Hemsworth.  Hmmm tangent here, would Chris Hemsworth be a homosexual if he was a Narcosis?   I am a Narcosis, that must mean I like Chris Hemsworth.

Daredevil and Elektra: Two Underrated Movies

I'll defend them both: Daredevil and Elektra.

As a Marvel movie fan, I know I'm not 'supposed' to do this.

After all, Ben Affleck is over in the DC Universe as Batman now (albeit controversially), and "Daredevil" was released in 2003 by Fox. The rights have reverted back to Marvel since Fox failed to produce another Daredevil flick before October of 2012.

And then there's Elektra, the 'not-true-to-the-comic-book-enough' 2005 movie. Fox made that one, too, only Marvel sadly does not have the rights back (yet).

And now I present my defenses:

• I saw both films for the first time recently, going in without the expectation of recent Marvel movies.
• I viewed the director's cuts.

Because Daredevil and Elektra are a couple, I enjoyed watching their stories unfold together. I appreciate how this was planned and how the characters met. Specifically, I tend to view superhero movies in particular through a feminist lens, but I really enjoyed what both movies accomplished, particularly concerning Elektra.

The journey of heroes

I'm disheartened that the Elektra movie in particular is overlooked so frequently. While I agree with the criticism that the film included a gallery of villains (denying each of them their depth), the climactic action was especially appropriate for the female hero's journey, with a special focus on its cyclic nature.

Too often we see the trope of 'single mom and her child' in which the male protagonist fills the missing role for them. Elektra fills that role - additionally, she is not simply a nurturer, but a protector.

As a viewer who had not read the comics, I was most skeptical of the films because of the costuming. However, learning about Daredevil's origins (and his reason for donning the outfit), I completely appreciate the deliberate costuming suggestion.

About the devil costume and the lingerie...

The outfit was actually a reason I hesitated seeing the Elektra film in the past. Judging from the advertising materials, it would seem as though Elektra constantly fights enemies in her skimpy red outfit, serving as simply eye candy for a male audience. Only after watching the film did I realize the true meaning behind it. She dons the outfit as a true means of empowerment, skill, and confidence.

The negatives

Marketing

These movies came out years ago, but I feel like Fox missed an opportunity to market these films to more specific audiences in addition to existing comic book fans. Elektra, for example, is a movie that every mother should want her daughter to see. Daredevil is a wonderful hero for kids without direction or boys who feel the absence of their fathers - and as an Irish American, it was pretty cool to see the journey of a superhero emerge from Hell's Kitchen. (Seriously, he could be the Boondock Saints' other brother.)

Abby Miller

I appreciate Elektra having a child to mentor - one who doesn't just need a nurturing mother figure in her life (in fact, the dad's the one that usually cooks the dinner...), but someone more like an example or role model. That said, Abby's annoying. The fact that there are two female characters in this trope makes it no less annoying when it's a male role model and a smartass kid being overly annoying.

Abby's problems aren't makeup and boys - and that's good - but she was still pretty snotty.

Casting

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck both performed well in their roles. That said, the casting wasn't at the level that contemporary Marvel movie fans have come to expect. (Is RDJ actually Tony Stark? Yes. Flawless casting happens.)  -- SPOILER BELOW CUT

Street Fighter: The Movie - A Van Damme Good Time!

Street Fighter is an odd movie. It less movie and more of a time capsule.

All the cheesy goodness of the '90s is captured here. Honestly, it could be a new throwback movie today - like Tropic Thunder or The Expendables. Add it to your Netflix Instant Queue now and NEVER TAKE IT OUT. Don't worry if you haven't played the games the movie is based on.

The sheer awesomeness of this movie transcends the games and holds its own, so don't worry.

Can't have a hero without a villain.

Raul Julia is amazing as M Bison. He plays such a maniacal mad man and has so many great lines. This movie has so many good and decent actors and RJ steals the movie.

If you would have told me he played Gomez Addams, I would have never believed it.

Man of Steel: Review (Spoiler-Free)

I didn't go into this movie with very high expectations. The last Superman movie just kind of left me feeling meh. This one was better - one of my favorite movies featuring DC characters - but compared to "Smallville," "Lois & Clark," or any of the recent Marvel movies, it didn't really stack up.

What I liked:

• Minus the shaky cam, I liked the cinematography - camera angles, intentional focus/unfocus, quickly changing point of view to indicate confusion during action sequence.
• The roles were all well-cast.
• The actors performed well and the chemistry between Clark and Lois was believable.
• The background about the characters - also believable.
• Russell Crowe as Jor-El was fantastic and expressive.
• Clark's human parents and some of the scenes in Kansas felt right out of "Smallville."
• The new Superman costume. I thought it was going to look silly or maybe be a bit too tight, but it didn't.
• I felt like it had definite elements of "Serenity," "Thor," and "The Matrix" in there, but it was different enough to be its own movie.
• Chemistry between Superman and Lois.

Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan - A Retrospective

KHHHHAAAAAAANNNNNN!   KHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!  KKKKKKKKKKKKHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!

Walter Koenig as Chekov.
Public Domain Image.

Had to get that out of my system.  I been rewatching the whole Startrek Series in canon Timeline and I got to "Wrath of Khan" last night. Probably one more painful points in the series for me.

Growing up, I was a lot like Spock. I had a hard time fitting in and I was rather logical. (Still am today,  I can just compensate better.) So watching Spock die was as about the same as watching Optimus Prime die.

"Wrath of Khan" wraps up the eugenics wars time arc and the crew of the Botany Bay. Kirk leaves Khan and his crew on  Ceti Alpha V. Well there was a problem, Ceti Alpha V turned into a hellscape desert planet.

My only problem with the movie is how they use this fact in the movie.

FACE OFF: Unicorn City

Directed by: Bryan Lefler
Starring: Full cast list at IMDB.
Official movie website | Trailer 
(Trailer embedded at end of blog post as well)

Critic: Jason

As a former LARPer (Live Action Role Player),  I have been a Feralkin Paladin, a Centurion Guard, Pixie Sage and an insane chef who almost killed the whole town. I have even been on staff at a game before. So "Unicorn City" was a bit strange for me because I spotted things that would never happen at a LARP. There were real weapons, unpadded weapons, using a car as a prop. Plus, just a lot of modern things in a fantasy setting like the badminton game.

I couldn't really suggest this movie unless you role play in some manor. If you don't, then all this movie will have for you is laughing at socially awkward nerds. You're better off watching another movie. Even for me, being part of the 'off culture,' it was a rough movie to watch. I just didn't like it too much. I couldn't find a reason to like the characters. Heck, I didn't realize until the credits that half of the characters had names.

The Game Itself

Yes, I know the game was made over night but wow there was a lack of effort. LARPs can take a year of writing and testing before they can even make it to a beta test. The movie just shows a lack of research. It would be like having a World War II movie and swapping Hitler with Charlie Chaplin. They look the same but to think of them as such really shows a lack of knowledge on the subject.

Voss Himself

What is my reason for being behind this guy? Why should I want him to succeed? He is a jerk to his friends, he can't see that Marsha has a thing for him, and just a one note stereotype. The movie tries to make his brother look like the mean one, but if your no-prospect brother was sleeping in a closet in your place without paying rent all the time, wouldn't you be angry? There is no character development.  He might as well be scenery.

Just avoid this movie. Watch "Krod Mandoon," "The Guild," or hell, go out to an actual LARP. (Do this at your own risk though. Those people can be a little wacko, right Tara?)  I don't care if you get Netflix for free, don't bother with this one; it isn't worth your time.

Defender: Tara

All I knew about this movie before I started watching it was that it involved LARPing. While I wouldn't say the movie depicted LARPing as I'm at all used to it, I did enjoy it as a charming, lighthearted love story. I think Jason took the movie a bit too seriously (which is weird...because he's Jason). I didn't take this movie as making fun of LARPers at all.

Gamer Jokes

Knowing the potential this movie had for possibly ridiculing LARPers, I was suspicious of it. These kinds of movies really have to display some geek knowledge for me to become fully invested. This movie succeeded - especially considering they played "Dawn of Days" (instead of "Dungeons & Dragons") and Voss wants to work at Warlocks of the Beach (instead of Wizards of the Coast). The quirks were genuine and that helped me ease into the movie.

Examining Franchise Movies and Sequels

Do you remember that time in "Back to the Future II" when Marty McFly travels to 2015 and finds that there are still future incarnations of "Jaws" movies playing in the theater? It was a good joke - and a funny one, mainly because it's true.

Many franchises extend for multiple sequels. Examples include "Indiana Jones" (and its sad attempt at a comeback years later), "Police Academy" (there are seven), and "Pink Panther" (with ten). There seems to be a difference between movies like this and the epic, universe-encompassing franchises such as "Star Wars," "Star Trek," and "Lord of the Rings." However, some movies have made me think about the legitimacy of sequels. Do they exist to tell a story - or just to get more money out of the audience?

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Transmorphers

This was made to cash in on Transformers. In fact they released a prequel: "Transmophers: Fall of Man" a week before "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"  Fun fact  Revenge of the Fallen is one of Tara's favorite movies, seriously open another tab and google "Tara Clapper Revenge of the Fallen."  I'll wait.  Yup she loves it that much.

Class Reunion

In Febuary, I watched a movie called "Bram Stokers: Draucla's Curse" that was so bad I still have nightmares about it. Well, this movie has ninety some odd percent of the same actors. A year later and some of them must have taken acting lessons because this time it wasn't horrible. It was just bad bordering of passable. They also removed the hangers from the costumes this time.

CGI On The Other Hand...

Is super over-the-top bad. Just god awful. I don't know who made them, but they need to go back to school...for a different profession. The robots just looked funny. They should have made less and had better models. Also, they could have opened a text book and saw how physics worked. If robots crashed into to earth like that, there wouldn't be an earth to save.

Final Verdict

Ironclad: Historically "Accurate"

The movie works like this: King James III signs the Magna Carta under duress from the Knights Templar. Wanting his power back, King James must lay siege to the rebels at Rochester Castle.

As an Action Movie...

The combat is actually fairly historically accurate. I was very happy when James Purefoy didn't use his sword one handed like some ninja. Those things were heavy. In fact, you could shatter your wrist if you didn't use it right. A lot of the maneuvers that were used were historically accurate for crusaders in the opening scenes.  Everything was well-paced and could easily be a date night movie.

As a Historically Accurate Retelling of the Siege of Rochester...

I don't want to ruin the ending for you, so I will just say this. It is UTTERLY WRONG. FDR: American Badass was more historically accurate than this movie.

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Quest for Movie Fandom Culture

The culture of a movie fandom is unique to each movie, and hard to explain to someone who hasn't ever been a devout fan of anything related to entertainment. That said, I find it no different than a fan's devotion to a favorite musician or author - the only difference is it's another art form; another genre.

Being moderately interested in a movie franchise is the real interesting part. Obsessed fans wonder 'how can you not KNOW that?' and non-fans wonder exactly what the fuss is all about. When you first become interested in a fandom, it might seem really elite, and some fandoms are known for being elite. It's just like a part of joining any other club or interest group.

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Paintball

While on an extreme paintball outing, the players get shot...with bullets. PLOT TWIST! Wow, I think I actually just gave a rather detailed summary of the entire movie. Nope, I don't think I missed anything.

Conflicted!

I am actually on a paintball team, so I noticed that there were a ton of glaring flaws with how they depicted the sport. Almost all of them could have been cleared up had they just taken the actors out to the range one for a day, then maybe followed it with some gun safety lessons.

Oh wait, this is Hollywood, and guns are magical things that don't require common sense. Over half the actors didn't have a full masks on...just goggles and a helmet.

A to Z Blogging Challenge: OTPs

Have you ever loved the idea of a fictional couple so much it makes you cry? If so, you have an OTP.

An OTP is a "one true pairing," and your love for an OTP only gets worse when you find others who feel the same way about it. Becoming emotionally invested in a character and his or her relationships isn't as weird as it sounds - almost everyone has felt that way about a book, TV show, or movie at some point.

My first OTP.

I'm pretty sure my first OTP was Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe, as portrayed by Megan Porter Follows and Jonathan Crombie in the made-for-TV "Anne of Green Gables" miniseries, based on the L.M. Montgomery book of the same name. I liked the idea of a smart and witty guy enjoying the same qualities in a female character - and Anne and Gil go through a ton of antics before they even realistically think about the possibility of actually being together.

Examples...

Most OTPs include a fair amount of drama that makes you wonder if they will or will not ever be together, sometimes (but not always) resulting in a favorable conclusion. Examples include:

• Buffy and Angel
• Thor and Jane
• Thor and Sif
• Colonel Brandon and Marianne
• Emma and Edward
• Simon and Kaylee

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Nineties movies

Oh, the nineties. I miss the nineties as much as I miss the eighties. It was an odd time; we had two Woodstocks that were so corporate that it would have made hippies roll in their graves if they weren't the ones running the show.

It was also the last decade where things took time. If you saw a movie in '91, you couldn't buy the copy of it till at LEAST '92 or see it on TV until late '92 early '93. Also there was a reason to own a movie because Netflix wasn't a thing. Seriously we had no idea what a Netflix was and how it would kill our productivity at home.

So many movies, so little time.

I remember seeing so many movies that are now considered classics: Wayne's World, Bill and Ted's Bogus Adventure, Ghost, two different Toy Stories, American Beauty, The Big Labowski, Titanic, Home Alone, Braveheart, and wow... I should stop listing movies now.

These are now all classics, and shaped culture. Heck, do you know how many cited Braveheart as historical fact? Guess what? Prima Nocta never happened. English nobles and land owners didn't actually do that to the Scottish, but if the legend is better you go with the legend. Look at Tang; people still think NASA invented it.

PUDDING POPS!!!

Ghost Dad was a thing that happened. I even saw it in the theaters. Fact: Cosby only starred in one movie because Ghost Dad was SO AMAZING.

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Mists of Avalon and Morgaine

"The Mists of Avalon" is a feminist re-interpretation of Arthurian legend. Based on the 1983 Marion Zimmer Bradley novel of the same title, the book and made-for-TV-miniseries caused me to drastically redefine how I think about the past.

In the past, most of our legends and stories were spoken of and written down by men. In past times (and sometimes in the present), the influence of patriarchy strongly interprets even the most progressive tellings of events.

"Mists of Avalon" changed that for me. It follows the struggles of several prominent women in Arthurian legend - defined by their roles and men in a patriarchal, male-centric society that includes a king. I will go into more detail about Queen Guinevere in a future "Q" entry, but today I'd like to talk about Morgan Le Fay, or Morgaine (Juliana Margulies), as she is represented in this 2001 Uli Edel film.

A to Z Blogging Challenge: La Mission

"La Mission" follows a father and son working though their issues. The father, an ex-convict, has to deal with anger issues, and his son has to deal with understanding his homosexuality and his father. To say his father isn't quite understanding and accepting is an understatement.

A Father.

Through out the movie you can tell Che does love his son. He just can't come to grips with his son's sexuality. It is a cocktail problem: part religion, part fear for his son's safety, and a touch of homophobia from not understanding what it means to be gay. It doesn't help that he was in prison, one of the most macho environments outside of the military.

A Son.

Jes is a really strong character. The whole time he stands up for himself. It would have been easy to claim it was a phase or that it was something that could be prayed away. Even worse; it was a white boy... you don't surprise your dad with a white boy. You work them up to a white boy if you live in the hood. Instead he tries to explain it to his dad, and work out with him and pushes back against people as they try to bully him.

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Kung Fu Fighter

Ahh K, sweet lady K. Today is KUNG FU Movie time with the aptly named "Kung Fu Fighter." I know what you're saying, a more generic name could not be found. "Kung Fu battle between two foes who don't seem to see eye to eye on an important issue so they have to fight with Kung Fu till the death or reasonably close!" was actually filmed the previous year. Now I love me some kung fu movies.  All you have to do is throw the words "kung fu" in a movie title, and most likely I will watch it.

Retro Vibe Including the Bad Over-Dub.

I actually think "What's Up Tiger Lily" had a better over dub than this movie and Woody Allen actually wrote a whole new script.  At first it was enduring but after a while is crossed into being annoying.  There was an entire scene where they did a dialog drop while the speaker didn't move his lips and had his tongue out the whole time. A good solid two minuets of spoken dialog without moving his lips.

A to Z Blogging Challenge Bonus: Jurassic Bark

In reply to: JURASSIC PARK

Tara,  I am not sure how you watched Season 4 Episode of Futurama in the 90s when it was aired in 2002, but how can you be happy thinking about it?  It is easily the saddest sitcom episode of any television show ever.  What kind of person are you, Tara?  Fry lost his dog Seymour, and the Seymour waited without any chance of Fry coming back.

Watch with your dog.

If you watch this hyper sad episode of Futurama be prepaired to cry and hug your dog.

You seriously don't have a dog!?

If you don't have a dog,  adopt one first at your local shelter.  I suggest naming your new dog Rex and teaching him or her an adorable trick for parties.  What ever you do though,  don't I repeat don't dress your dog up.  Rex seriously wouldn't like that.

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Jurassic Park

“Jurassic Park” was a movie that heavily influenced me as a young adult. I know you're supposed to be influenced by something more 'deep' like “Citizen Kane” or generational like “Easy Rider” and “The Breakfast Club,” but for me, it was “Jurassic Park.” I guess it just came along at the point in my life when I was looking for something.

That's what makes “Jurassic Park” so magnificent in a less-than-dinosaur-sized obvious way. Each character in that movie really has a personal quest – whether it's to find understanding in a parent's divorce or to achieve validation of a scientific theory.

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

"Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" is a nostalgic film for many of my friends. It's a movie from our childhood. Watching it as objectively as possible and reading reviews from younger viewers of the film, however, it's also clear that this film has the potential to be perceived as culturally insensitive by contemporary audiences.

The Criticism:
In the movie, our hero and his companions wind up facing worshipers of a goddess called Kali (kind of like in "Help!"). As they attempt to escape, members of the Thuggee cult attempt to takeover the mind of Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) - and steal his heart - literally. Some viewers find the portrayal of this historical group offensive, as there were apparently actually religious zealots worshiping Kali and killing up to a million in her name. Furthermore, India briefly banned the movie on grounds of cultural insensitivity.

Critics also dislike Willie (Kate Capshaw), Indy's love interest in this film. Used to finer things, Willie's not the world's best companion when it comes to adventuring with elephants and creepy crawlies. (She also screams a lot.)

Lastly, some viewers are offended by Short Round (Jonathan Ke Quan), Indy's underage Asian sidekick. This kid drives cars and it's clear Indiana's a mentor to him, but critics call out the immoral treatment of the child because in real life, Indiana would be putting him in danger.

A to Z Blogging Challenge: Help!

Help! Help! Help! Yeah - I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah - like, The Beatles movie.

Cheesy, comedic, and culturally insensitive, "Help!" is a favourite movie of mine. After all, It stars The Beatles (and Beethoven's "Ode to Joy").

Besides my apparent fangirlish nature, I do have many reasons for enjoying this movie.

The music. The Beatles' album of the same title contains some of my favorite Beatles tunes. Due to their musical evolution and the progression of the interpersonal relationships within the band, "Help!" symbolizes a period of musical cohesion for the band. That said, the title track is catchy and upbeat - but have you ever read the lyrics as a standalone piece? This movie is cute and artistic, but it says something more - as does John Lennon.

While The Beatles were truly innovative, McCartney has repeatedly said that they were simply bringing existing elements of counterculture into the mainstream - not inventing them. "Help!" represents a fading innocence years before the counterculture sensed it. As a result, I feel like I have a completely different read on the movie and song than people of my parents' generation.

The tiger. As a kid, I loved the tiger. The tiger randomly appears when Ringo is trapped in his basement along with his fancy ring. As the tiger enters the room, there is dramatic cinematography and a poignant subtitle: A tiger.

Last innocent foray. "Help!" represents The Beatles' last film frolic, mainly construed as 'innocent' by contemporary audiences. After this, it was into the realm of psychodelia and legal battles.